| With a heavy heart :( |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|02:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
It is with a heavy heart I post this; we had our last visit to the cancer clinic today. There is nothing more they can do for my father. On an intellectual level, my brain knew...seeing how much he has been deteriorating over the last few months. But my heart kept grasping at hope, hope that we could slow it down or make the pain go away, but it is not the case. Hearing him say, he wished he would die already...breaks our hearts. I know he will be in a better place...but it is hard letting go. So now we are waiting for a palliative care bed, he even said to take him to the hospital. Damn this is so hard to write! It's not only hard watching him suffer, but also watching mom. There's not much we can do but be here for each other, I try to hold back the tears to put on a brave face for her, but it's getting more and more difficult to do.
I just can't believe that its come so quickly, so now we wait...for the inevitable :( |
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| Update on my dad |
[Apr. 5th, 2009|01:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
Well it seems that what ever can go wrong will go wrong. My dad was ready for surgery on Friday the 27th. He was prepped, had his IV in and waiting...and waiting...well low and behold, the doctor was running late from his other surgeries, so dad's was canceled. Can we say OY! The nurse who told us, said that we should get a call on Monday and he will be a priority and will probably bump someone else. Oh and next time try for a morning appointment. We told we had a morning appointment but got bumped to 5pm. So we take dad home, everyone having mixed feelings about what happened (including spitting nails. So we wait, and wait, mom calls the doctor's secretary...and she had no idea what was happening. So instead of Monday we get word on Thursday that his operation will probably be on April 14th at 9am (probably because she was working on the schedule and the doctor had to approve.
So this Friday April 3d, mom noticed that dad's baby toe was a purplish colour. Was advised to take him into the hospital to see a doctor (cause you know everything happens after the doctors' offices are closed :rolleyes: So we take him into the ER, if you know about Canadian ER's you know there are long waiting periods. Luckily for us, it only took 2 1/2 hours for him to see a doctor (which lasted about 5 minutes) to find out he has an infection and get a prescription for antibiotics.
So fingers crossed, the surgery will go forth on the date we were given.
Boy, I thought things like this only happened on Soap Operas :rolleyes: |
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| To post or not to post. |
[Mar. 25th, 2009|06:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | worried | ] |
To post or not to post, that is the question, (yea, I know, bad Shakespeare). A few of you know about this, but not many. The last time I posted about my dad was in July, and that was about him having prostate cancer. Well things have changed since then. He was diagnosed with another type of cancer also; Mesothelioma, a lung cancer that is caused by exposure to asbestos. One of the problems with this cancer is that it's hard to get a definitive diagnosis. The doctor who went into his lung (the pleura area which surrounds the lung) took biopsies and said it was this cancer. But the tests all came back inconclusive, and Cat Scan and MRI's taken later all came back inconclusive...which means he can't get the one drug (chemo) they have for this cancer. In the mean time, the pain has gotten worse, beyond what anyone should ever have to endure. So my dad made the decision with his doctor to have an operation. The doctor said he'd first go in with a scope like he did last time, and decide from there if he has to do the more major surgery...a larger cut and taking part of the lung, and trying to re-inflate the lung.
This is major surgery, and the doctor has explained the dangers of it, but my dad says living with this kind of pain is not really living, so this Friday, March 27, he goes in for surgery.
The wait has been a hell of a long time, but now that the operation is scheduled it seems too soon. I'm both pleased for him, that he is getting what he wants, but at the same time worried.
I guess it's just time to keep my fingers crossed and pray. |
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| Numb |
[Jul. 6th, 2008|12:38 pm] |
Right now, I think I'm numb. I've already been going back and forth with anger and depression. I found out on June 30th my dad has cancer. The doctor said he was too old for an operation. They will try different treatments with radiation and drugs (not chemo). But first we have to wait for tests to see how far it has progressed. The first test will be on July 21st and the second the 28th.
DAMN I HATE WAITING!
The doctor told my parents that usually from diagnosis the person has 5 years, but normally they die from something else. Well that's encouraging...NOT! So it's not IF he will live, but down to how long.
We just lost Deejay on the 21st and now this :( Oh yea, did I mention, my dad's brother is in the hospital waiting a heart bypass!
DAMN WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS!!!!
They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle...I don't believe that's true right now.
Well I think the numbness just been replaced with depression again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2008|07:29 pm] |
Well I thought I should post this somewhere ;)
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| What kind of Nerd are you? |
[Jan. 8th, 2008|07:34 pm] |
Thanks Ann for the link :P
| What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Science/Math Nerd (Absolute Insane Laughter as you pour toxic chemicals into a foaming tub of death!)
Well, maybe you aren't this extreme, but you're in league with the crazy scientists/mathmeticians of today. Very few people have the talent of math and science is something takes a lot of brains as well. Thank whosever God you worship, or don't worship, so thank no deity whatsoever in your case, for you people! Most of us would have died off without your help. | | Literature Nerd | | | Social Nerd | | | Drama Nerd | | | Gamer/Computer Nerd | | | Artistic Nerd | | | Musician | | | Anime Nerd | | What Be Your Nerd Type?
Quizzes for MySpace |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2007|10:21 pm] |
For those who don't know, MGM has a contest The Stargate Super Fan Video Contest. Ooober has made an awesome video which has made it to the finals. I'd like to share it with you and wish her all the good luck :D
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| Fic: What is This Christmas |
[Dec. 10th, 2007|06:33 pm] |
Title: What is This Christmas?
Author: Mandysg1
Rating: G
A/N: This fic was inspired by Chopin Gal from the Samanda thread on GW. Thanks to JanSam for being my beta (yet again) and helping to come up with a title. The biggest warning is there is NO WHUMP ;)
( What is This Christmas ) |
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| Weekend in Toronto |
[Mar. 22nd, 2007|11:27 pm] |
I don't normally post much on my LJ, I actually got it because I needed it for a fic-a-thon. But for I guess you would call this my first official post, (me actually talking about something) I thought I'd talk about going to The Vagina Monologues, in Toronto. I had never seen the show before and hadn't heard much about it. So I really didn't know what to expect. All I can say is WOW, was I blown away! The message this show gave was very thought provoking. It took you on an emotional roller-coaster, from feeling sad one moment, angry the next and then finding yourself laughing. Everyone in the show did a great job, I don't think you could come away from it without being touched in some way. I was fortunate enough to know two people in the show, starrgazer and minigeek (who was lucky enough to win a contest to be in the show) and did a great job. I can actually say I knew her when ;) Starrgazer was not only in the show, but also did a great job as helping to produce the show.
How can I mention the Vagina Monologues with out mentioning Amanda Tappping! Wow, did she do a great job! She had the audience in stitches, she did such an amazing job of turning a piece that is usually portrayed as angry, and putting her own spin on it, making it truly enjoyable to watch.
Amanda is such a nice person, she came out and met with her fans after both shows! She talked with us and took pics with us and really made us feel special! And this being my first time meeting Amanda, I have to say, what a special, real, funny person she is. No wonder everyone who has met her speaks highly of her.
One of the best parts of the weekend, was actually getting to meet so many other fans, many from Samsnda, and others who were from other places on the net. Spending time with Kat, Amber Moon, Famantha and Sio was something I'll never forget. And being able to spend extra time with Minigeek and scarimor and getting to know each other was what can I say, a fun bonding experience, you guys ROCK!
The only sad part of the weekend was having to say goodbye to all those I met too soon.
Thanks everyone for making that weekend so amazing! |
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| Fic: Doohickies and Doo Dads |
[Oct. 25th, 2006|11:54 pm] |
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Title: Doohickies and Doo Dads
Author: Mandysg1
Rating: R for innuendo
A/N: I couldn’t help but write this, after a rather interesting discussion we had on the SAGC thread, discussing doohickies. So this is for all the Samandan’s out there. Thanks to RepliCartertje, for the assistance.
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| What kind of writer should you be? |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|02:54 pm] |
| You Should Be a Film Writer | 
You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.
And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen! |
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| What is your Celtic Horoscope |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|12:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| You Are A Cedar Tree | 
You are elegant yet unpretentious, modest yet vivacious.
Attractive and friendly, you are full of imagination but might lack passion.
You abhor vulgar people, and you don't like anything in excess.
You have little more ambition than to live a calm life and enjoy nature.
You create a content, peaceful atmosphere for others. |
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